I have a disorder called “Nervous wreck whose impatient.” I don’t like waiting, especially for things that are life-changing (i.e. college admissions). When I wait, I tend to think more negatively about the situation; I become a square and feel like there are millions of others who are more deserving of the great opportunities and trophies in life. I ask myself a perennial list of questions and try to justify why “I would be the perfect fit.” Yes, I do this a lot and it doesn’t really work most of the times simply because I probably don’t put it in as much effort as others do. Why does society nurture competition? Can’t we all be friends? I promise the world will be a rosier place if everybody stopped caring about things they don’t have and humbly appreciated the wonders they do have.

I am waiting on a very special school that shall never be named. But I know, I already go to a highly ranked school and I have a GPA that others are in awe of, extracurriculars that are difficult to achieve. However, despite all this, I feel the urgency and desperation to test myself. I’m not sure if I’ll ever enjoy college or the so called “best four years of your life.” Others say I’m being too close minded and I should just give it some time. And I agree, but there are certain things that time can’t heal. Passion is one of them.

Education is not about filling a bucket, it’s about lighting a fire.

And I have yet to do this.


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