Ennui

I watched “Man of Steel” or aka “Superman” with my friends today, and it was meh. I think Iron Man is much cooler because I want to be tech-savvy now, maybe.

Despite the fact that there’s still 6 hours left, today was a very long and uncharismatic day. The golden rays of the sun and the crisp aroma of the blooming flowers were delicious; however, I had to sit through an incredibly boring teachers’ orientation for a summer camp that I’m working at for a month. I felt a strong vibe of rejection and sensed that this was one of the many singular moments where I didn’t fit in at all. I lacked motivation, energy, interest, affection, and compassion for why I was taking on this position. I don’t enjoy teaching people because it’s simply reflexive. You can feel your bones chill when you’re being condescending and pedantic to children who probably don’t know better. When you ask them to make wise, longterm decisions while constantly reminding them to “cherish the moment,” you realize you’re being hypocritical. Most importantly, I don’t like telling others what to do because who am I to tell them what’s wrong from right. I only desire to tell them to play what you love and if it doesn’t move you, then something is wrong.

If the heartbreak of a parent is a thankless child, then the heartbreak of a child is the realization of his ingratitude.

Find your inspiration because inspiration deferred is empty betrayal, lingering disappointment, and the forsaken bones of hope.

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