So many thoughts that put so many things on the line. So many questions and worries that can’t be extinguished until I try, which I’m scared may backfire into regrets and consequently, more worries.
The other day my friend taught me something I thought I had understood but didn’t. “There’s a difference between putting yourself out there and really being open about everything. I don’t think it’s a matter of YOU figuring out how to change the way you feel. It’s less feeling and more just like perspective and opinion.” Her words echoed in my mind as an almost surprising revelation from a truly wise and loving friend. The past year has been full of changes; some good and some bad but all the while changes that have made me more committed to my inexorable goal of “forward.” But I was overcome with a haze of fear; fear that my hopes and dreams were too mediocre compared to my feelings of being trapped and wanting to open doors for my future. So what do I do now when questions and thoughts that I have never conjured start to float in my mind? Do I stay committed to my hopes of last year or do I rebrand myself?