I’m so tired. Sorry to begin a post like that but I rarely ever say that I’m tired, in person, via text, ever. I don’t like having others feel like they have to limit themselves/be sensitive to my mood because “I’m tired.” It’s stupid and it’s not fair, but I’m sorry I have to say this one time. I’m so incredibly exhausted, not necessarily physically, but emotionally and mentally. I don’t like how college and the four years you’re given are for “discovering yourself.” It makes sense, but who the heck can plan out their entire life in four years when you couldn’t do it for the 17 years before college. Someone explain the logic to me. I’m tired because I grapple with numbers all the time. I constantly worry about my gpa, my test scores, how many extracurriculars I do, how many hours I devote to studying for a test, everything in #s. In high school, I was never like this. Quite frankly, I didn’t even know what a gpa was until my mom told me (lol). And to be more frank, I want to go back. Not back to high school, but back to this carefree mindset. I want to discover something about me that I didn’t know before; I don’t care if I have no idea what I want to do in 5 years. I just want to venture. I want to discover my potential, not in numbers but in sincerity and passion. You can’t quantify everything in life.
My life falls apart in some of the worst moments.
… But I’m starting to think my life is falling together instead.